Brain Overload


So much has been going on. Gahhhhh. Our embryo was transferred on Saturday. It was an uncomfortable but bearable procedure. But now my mind is swirling with possibilities, daydreams, hopes, fears… the works!

The good news was that the embryo was really good quality and received a high grading. It was already starting to hatch and the embryologist was very pleased with it. However that doesn’t mean it will work so isn’t particularly reassuring. The bad news is that none of the other embryos were worth freezing which means this is our only shot from this cycle. I’m really disappointed about this as I had hoped we would have a few to freeze so that we had a few chances. Now the pressure is really on. It had all been so promising when we collected 18 eggs but turns out this cycle wasn’t wasn’t very successful.

I keep having to stop myself from thinking about the outcome. Could I be pregnant? After the previous two embryo transfers I remember being certain that I wasn’t pregnant. I felt totally normal. I don’t know what will happen and I will have to wait another week until we return to the clinic to find out the outcome. All I know is that if this doesn’t work I will be gutted. I would absolutely love to have another little one. But at least I am fortunate to have a beautiful baby already. His lovely face will cheer me up and make me feel incredibly blessed if things don’t go how I hope.


Going Insane


I keep groping my boobs to see if they feel tender. Then I wonder if my cramps feel like period cramps or pregnancy cramps.  I think my back aches, but maybe I slept funny. I don’t feel nauseous, I don’t have a head ache. My appetite is normal. I feel tired, but who doesn’t feel fatigued after all the IVF stress?

Pregnancy “symptoms” can be attributed to the side effects of Cyclogest, a suppository I use daily (lucky me) to increase my  progesterone levels.

Last time I don’t remember feeling anything during the Two Week Wait and I was pregnant.

Driving my husband mad.

This. Is. Torture.