Stevie Wonder is right. Superstition ain’t the way. I have never been a superstitious person. In fact I am quite the opposite. To me the belief in superstition, that one event causes another without any natural process linking the two events, is totally insane. However when it comes to this pregnancy my rationality has well and truly gone out the window!
In my illogical, neurotic brain doing anything I did in my last pregnancy cannot be repeated in this pregnancy or it will jinx, risk or endanger this pregnancy. That includes but is not limited to signing up for antenatal classes, wearing a baby on board badge on the underground and planning or purchasing anything for the nursery or baby. I have accepted that I will have to make an exception and buy a few essentials, a car seat and some baby grows, but I will wait until March for that. I know I sound totally mad but I have just accepted that I will be a lunatic worrier until the baby arrives and there’s little I can do to avoid that!
If you were to see the things I have typed into Google you would refer me for psychological help. Often a specific worry will pop into my head and I will have to Google it immediately. I am clearly not the only lunatic out there though because all my searches generate a multitude of search results from other equally neurotic women.
At the moment my concern is due to the fact that it has been 3 weeks since I have had a scan and now I am anxious that I have had a missed miscarriage during that time. Each day I tell my husband that the baby is dead. Aren’t I fun to be around?! I think in the next month, when I start to feel the baby moving, I will take comfort in that. Until then I am trying not to interpret, or misinterpret, certain feelings and movements. At the moment I worry that my bump is shrinking and my boobs have stopped aching and that this indicates a pregnancy loss. Grrrrrr….
Luckily I have a scan in 7 days. Not that I am counting!
Schools out for summer! Usually that means an exciting trip, a loaded kindle and sun-bathing galore. I am a sun-worshipper (plastered in factor 30 obvs). Not this year, and for a good reason – early pregnancy.
Firstly we are neurotic about over-heating. During early pregnancy it is important not to raise your body temperature above 38.9 degrees. Secondly we decided to avoid air travel. And finally my husband starts a new job this week.
Luckily London is pretty lovely in summer.
What will I do for 5 weeks? Suggestions on a postcard please! I just received a new kenwood mixer and a 3,000 piece puzzle so that’s a good start!
My husband is super strict with me and is insisting I take it easy. So here is to a stress-free summer.