Welcome to my Blog,
I am 31, married and living in London. I have a baby boy.
This is my story…
In September 2013, after 9 months of trying to conceive, we found out that natural conception was improbable – IVF was the only option. Unfortunate yes, but by no means the end of the world. After needles, pills, suppositories, mood swings, scans, an egg collection, an embryo transfer and an agonising wait we were thrilled to be pregnant. Full of excitement, hope and expectation we dreamed and fantasised about life with our baby. Baby names were discussed, pram research was undertaken, the wallpaper samples arrived.
But devastatingly, cruelly, it was not to be. Our world shattered when we were told at our 20 week scan that our baby was suffering from health complications which would severely affect our precious child’s quality of life. Crushed, utterly inconsolable and completely shocked, we made the heart-breaking decision to terminate the pregnancy. The ordeal was awful, but not in comparison to the challenge of coming to terms with the turn of events.
We rebuilt ourselves after the overwhelming sadness and grief. Grief for the decision we had to make, the loss of our special baby, and the emptiness that engulfed our lives and hearts. We became pregnant again and were filled with anxiety about our babies health. It was hard to imagine that we could have a positive outcome after the experience we had. While we had fear, we also had hope. Hope that someday if we continued to wake up, survive and sleep then eventually we would get a baby to love. When our son arrived our dreams came true – I hope yours will too.
Good luck to you all,