Last weekend we saw many of my in-laws friends and had many well wishers expressing their excitement at our pregnancy. My bump was rubbed – often by people I barely know! I was asked about maternity leave, labour, names, the works. Now let me state two important things:
a) I feel thrilled and blessed to be pregnant.
b) I appreciate their good wishes and know that they are from a kind and lovely place.
However it can be a bit overwhelming. Had I had a normal journey until now I am sure I would be basking in their attention and joy, but after our experiences I am as happy as I am scared. I do not like to get ahead of myself as it fills me with fear. I don’t fully believe it will work out. Time just needs to pass so we can, we pray, reach that all important due date. For now I will continue to be fearful when I don’t feel kicks, anxious when I am not getting bigger and counting down those weeks like a mad woman!
Patience is a quality I have not yet acquired. I’m not sure I ever will but I have no doubt that if we are blessed with a special baby it will all have been worth it.