Infertility Faux Pas


What not to say to a woman who can’t get pregnant

Author Tracy Buchanan has ‘dodgy eggs’ and struggled to conceive for five years. During that time, she was flabbergasted by some of the ‘comforting’ advice she got – even from well-meaning friends. Here, she explains what not to say:

  1. ‘Kids are a nightmare anyway, you’re better off without them’
  2. ‘Don’t worry, it’ll happen, I just know it’
  3. ‘I bet you’ll get pregnant on holiday’
  4. ‘So-and-so got pregnant on her tenth round of IVF!’
  5. ‘There’s always adoption’
  6. ‘Oh, I didn’t mention so-and-so was pregnant, I thought it might upset you’
  7. ‘It’s G-d’s way’

My advice  is to be realistic without being negative.You might be tempted to be overly positive but it’s frustrating to hear. Let your infertile friend vent without adding your own opinions or dismissing them when they try to be realistic. All you need to do is listen. Make it clear you’re there for them. If they need to talk or ask your advice, they will.


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