Green With Envy

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Inevitably a number of my friends, or ladies I know, have had babies or announced their pregnancies during the time when we were consumed by sadness at the loss of our baby. Of course a part of me was filled with jealousy. It made me feel like a bad person. However I realised it was only natural to feel this way. I felt robbed of the baby I was expecting. When I felt bad I reminded myself that I was still happy for them, I just wished I could have the same. There was no need to feel guilty about completely normal emotions. So if you feel that way don’t be too hard on yourself. Also remember that just because they are having a baby doesn’t mean there is one less in the world for you!

One of my best friends was due a week before me and we had excitedly discussed our pregnancies and maternity leave together. When I lost our baby it was hard to see her progress through her pregnancy. I felt that I should be doing the same. She totally understood when I needed not to see her for a bit and was beyond understanding about my emotions. Her gorgeous baby has now arrived and I adore him. However I was worried about how jealous I might feel and, based on my experiences, whether the labour would go safely. Thankfully all went well. And I can say with complete honesty that I feel nothing but happiness for her. When I saw his little face it was impossible not to feel joyous. He is a bundle of loveliness and a blessing to my friend. Obviously I wish I could be in that position but now that I am pregnant I at least feel there is a chance of that being me someday. And when I do I know she will be absolutely thrilled for me too.

Shout out to baby E! Love Auntie K x

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