I am totally in denial about being pregnant. Believing that it is real seems dangerously naive. Due to my previous pregnancy loss at 21 weeks I wish to remain as detached as possible from the idea. That may sound bizarrely cold but its really a self-preservation tactic. That way if it the baby is not for keeps then perhaps it won’t be as difficult. Instead of the day-dreams I had last time I actively discourage myself, and others, from talking about the future. I won’t even book my GP appointment for the hospital referral as I feel like that may jinx the pregnancy. Understandably anxious or totally neurotic? You decide!