Get Your Belly/Baby Out My Face Bitch!


When you are desperate to be pregnant mums-to-be and mums with newborns seem to be everywhere! EVERYWHERE! They are always seated next to me in restaurants and walking beside me in the street. Everywhere I look there they bloody are. They seem to smell my desperation and envy and follow me. Hampstead, home to the yummiest of mummies, has groups of mums that walk 5 prams wide down the high street with smug expressions and an air of contentment that makes me want to slap them.

Worse is mums who complain of their tiredness and struggles. I want to shake them violently and say ‘don’t you realise how fortunate you are?’. Luckily I don’t. Deep breaths. It serves to remind myself that perhaps they had a struggle to get to motherhood too. Perhaps, I pray, that will be me one day.


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