Big Fat Positive

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We had our blood test on Friday. The days preceding it were a blur of anxiety, over analysis and momentary excitement. I had had intermittent symptoms, but I was so unsure about whether they were a result of a pregnancy or the progesterone. I was 50-50. It could have gone either way.

At the clinic they took my blood and then we sat and waited for what felt like an eternity. Actually my husband sat and waited and I did laps of the waiting room. Eventually the nurse returned to say that it had been worth the wait and we were pregnant! I was shocked. Maybe I had tried to prepare myself for (more) bad news.

I am so relieved, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Inevitably I don’t feel the same as last time. Gone is the naive joy and giddy excitement. I am entering this pregnancy with my eyes wide open. I am all too aware of all the things that can, and do, go wrong. It is a long road ahead, but at least we are on the right track now. This time I will not daydream of the future or make any plans. I will focus on the 7 week scan and then take it from there. Please g-d things will have a happy ending this time. Maybe there could be sunshine and blue skies ahead.

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