You Are Not Alone


During the early, darker days I found that only those who had experienced similar loss could understand my emotions. They ranged from sadness at the baby we never got to know, guilt for the life we ended, anger at the unfairness of the situation, jealousy at other mothers, or expectant mothers, and fear that I would never get a child. It seemed so cruel to beat the odds in the IVF lottery only to lose our baby at the point where we considered ourselves safe, on the home stretch.

We spoke to people who told us of their losses and I read this book. My husband initially expressed concern that it may exacerbate my anxiety and fears but I found it very helpful. It covered all aspects of loss, from a medical, logistical and emotional point of view. However it was the accounts from women about their experiences that were the most powerful and comforting. It was reassuring to hear others stories of loss and pain. It made me realise I was not alone. There are numerous books of this nature. I’d love to hear your recommendations.


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